Dance Camp, 27 August to 3 September

I spent the last weekend of the summer (up to and including Labor Day) at the annual Dance Camp, run by Dance New England. It's not quite like any other gathering I've ever been to. It's focused on dance, although there's lots of pagan and alternative influences. One result is that most of the attendees are in fairly good physical shape, and care for their health and physical condition more than some other alternative communities (a noticable difference from the pagan and science fiction subcultures!). Another factor is that the camp is clean and sober -- although all gatherings and cons have some kind of policy saying that drugs and alcohol are not tolerated, Dance Camp is the only place that I've seen where people actually behave accordingly, other than a couple of sneaked beers which don't cause any harm. This has been helpful for me, because I wanted to get out of these habits, and Dance Camp turned out to be a great place to set a new lifestyle pattern.

Omni Camp

The gathering is at Omni Camp in Poland Spring, Maine, and yes this is where they bottle the water of that name, I passed the plant on the way in. It's a nice little camp on Worthley Pond, with many little cabins scattered through the woods along the water (most of the cabins are named after cities from around the world, and I spent a lot of time in Singapore). There's a central field with basketball and volleyball courts, next to the large dining hall and lodge (which was the primary dance hall for this camp). I parked my camper van in the upper parking lot, right by the entrance, and reached the main camp via the "High Road" a steep rooty trail leading down to the field.

One of the neatest things about Omni Camp is that the local gravel (lining all the roads) is rich in mica and quartz, and there is mica in chunks and flakes everywhere. They add a glitter and sparkle to everyone's clothes and skin, as well as the camp grounds, which is very magical either in the sunlight of midday or the searching flashlight beams at midnight.

The local trees are tall pines and oaks, mostly. The undergrowth includes "doll's eyes" whose berries are clusters of white buttons on bright pink stalks, the fakest looking plant I've ever seen. Someone left a note saying not to pick them, they're deadly poison -- I didn't try! Also Solomon's seal, with its clusters of gray berries, and ferns. There are lots of mushrooms and fungi around, perhaps because the last month has been so wet. Bright yellow blobs along rotting wood look like spilled wax. Ghostly white Indian pipes push up from the litter of the forest floor, like prayers left by native people long ago.

The local animals are mostly chipmunks, scurrying and squeaking. Crickets and grasshoppers crawl along the tent's fabric, slow and cautious as alien explorers. At night, glowworms light their quiet little lanterns along the trail's edge, burning one after another, in sequence like tiny chaser lights. An owl hoots in the dark, an eerie and haunting sound in the pitch black of midnight.

The DNE community

The people are a great group, very warm and affectionate, and more gentle and friendly than I find at other gatherings. (I think the clean and sober environment helps people to be more present.) It's a hippie kind of scene, of course, and people frequently forget my name, but there's no problem asking for it again. I appreciate the openness and loving kindness that I have found here. It's also nice to have lots of physically fit people around. At pagan gatherings I sometimes feel out of place, as one of the few people in a serious exercise program, and much more fit than the norm. Here I'm about the median, which is a nice place to be. And of course, the waterfront is very scenic, as most people do not wear bathing suits -- what a wonderful display of beautiful bodies! It's a lovely place to appreciate the beauty of nature, including humans. Lots of fantasy fodder here too, of course, if one is interested in such things -- few people are inhibited either in their demeanor or their conversation!

I have met too many people to record them all here, but I will note some special individuals. Mareba, the elder sister from South Africa who now pursues Native American rights, is wonderfully sweet but driven on her agenda. Wei Wei, the Chinese girl who's just finished studying homeopathy in Toronto, is elegant and demure, but quite friendly. Ben, the visually impaired Mac hacker at Dragon Systems, is loads of fun to talk with and dance with. Chuck, the big contact improv dancer, is remarkably gentle and understanding, but confident in his power. Sandrine, the French vixen, is very friendly and interested when I talked to her about polyamory, but cautious -- so I made a point of introducing her to Lee and addressing her concerns. Deidre from New Mexico, with the butch haircut, is new to the whole thing and very appreciative of this experience so far from home -- she is even considerate about smoking tobacco, and strives to keep the smoke away from me, how nice!

I also reconnected with people that I had already met, and I was surprised and gratified by how many there were. Bruce is a great guy that I would be proud to call my brother, and we had a mutual counseling session about our relationship issues. Lori is happy to see me, providing that she has a job for me to do. Daryl is loads of fun to dance with and goof with. Daniel is deep and thoughtful, interesting to talk to, until an attractive young woman comes into range, at which point he shifts his attention.

One neat aspect of Dance Camp is the "family group" which meets after dinner and before the night's revelry. This creates a little, intimate circle within the larger community, where you can check in and reconnect with self and others after a day of exploring the wide and varied world of DNE. There are a dozen or so family groups, you pick which one to hang with. The first few nights, I went to the Massage family group, which gave me a nice opportunity to touch and be touched. I gave massages and received massages, which was really nice. I was a little surprised to find that some of the people there didn't have much experience or expertise in massage, and I taught several people how to care for the upper traps, TMJ, and muscles of the face, because they didn't seem to know how to do it. I hope this improves their experience! But there was no connection with the people there other than massage, no heart sharing or discussion, and I wanted some more personal sharing of heart and experience. For the last few nights, I ended up in the Panfidelity family group (i.e. Polyamory), which was a very accepting and warm circle of people, ranging from 20+ years experience in multiple relationships to young couples in the initial stages of opening their one-on-one relationship. I found a wonderful warm connection with this group as a whole, and with several individuals within it.

My experience at Dance Camp

The weather for most of the week was picture perfect: cloudless blue skies by day, brilliant stars by night, and not too humid (meaning, hot enough to sweat a bit during the afternoon, then cold enough to dry it during the night). The greatest challenge I faced in daily life was the insect attack, squadrons of blackflies and mosquitos in the morning while I was doing taiji, and in the evening while I was trying to talk after dinner or at family groups. Especially during taiji, the bugs were fierce, getting in my eyes and up my nose, and biting for my blood all over the place, favorite attack sites being the ankles and backs of the knees, where the skin is thin and the veins are close to the surface. Bastards. I have an astonishing collection of welts and scabs from this assault.

The other physical challenge has been the callouses on my feet. I must admit that after years of daily taiji practice and going barefoot whenever possible, I've built up a respectable callous on the soles of my feet (primarily my heels, but also the ball and big toe). Usually, there will be some cracking of the callous in early summer, which is kind of painful when the crack goes down into living tissue. I went throug the yearly ritual of pain this spring, and thought I had it over and done with, but after the first few days of dancing hard on bare feet, the callouses on both heels cracked deeply and caused agonizing pain on every step. Short term, there doesn't seem to be anything to do about it, other than endure the pain and wait for the cracks to heal. This time, I talked about it on the dock at the waterfront, and a girl said that I ought to shave off the excess dead skin with a razor blade, so that the new skin can grow from inside and heal. Sounds reasonable. Hell, at this point I'll try anything.

As part of my intention to recreate myself in a healthier mode, I've been doing laps around the swimming area (buoyed ropes demarcate a square about 80 feet or so on each side) every day. Usually I do 10 circuits around the boundary, sometimes 8, but sometimes 12. I hope to enter a mini triathlon sometime soon, and this is a good way to build. Alternating strokes each lap, and trying to concentrate on the crawl stroke, where I think I need the most development, as my upper body strength has suffered while working on my thesis. Most of the guys around camp have very nicely developed deltoids and lats, which is an inspiration, and a challenge!

Emotionally the week was a real roller coaster. Started pretty low, climbed up high during the first half of the week, crashed down hard midweek, and then climbed back up again to end on a high note. Plus there were lots of mood swings in between, ups and downs. This was no surprise to me, given where I'm coming from, but it was still a ride. The next section gives the details of daily events that correspond to some of the big changes.

The week's events

The week's events

Sunday

Arrive around dinnertime, after an uneventful drive. I asked around for a "bus village" or any space designated for RVs, but no one seemed to know much. What finally turned up was a stretch of the exit road, actually outside the camp gates, where one could theoretically park along the road. Not nice at all. I opted to stay in the first parking lot, which is much more convenient to camp.

It's always lonely arriving and not knowing anyone, especially when it's a big group of people who all seem to know each other. Trying to shake the blues, I went to the massage family group in the evening. This was okay, I shared massage with several people, but there was no one to facilitate or take charge, it was all very random.

Monday

Taiji in the morning (with lots of biting bugs!) was followed by breakfast and orientation. The orientation was really fun, because announcements were interspersed with dance jams, which made it a lot more fun, and I got to know lots of people by sight and a few by name. This worked really well!

The afternoon was taken up by registration, swimming, a music jam in the big tent (and helping the musicians pack their gear out), and meeting people. I'm meeting lots of people at meals and general hanging around. It's fun, and also an interesting experience to flex my personality muscles again, it feels like years since I met new people just for the pleasure of it.

I announced at dinner that I would teach a little introduction to astronomy after dark. (Announcements are done by writing signs on notice boards, which I like much better than yelling.) So, after a brief massage session, I got my telescope and set it up in the high parking lot, out of range of street lights -- however, there was some car traffic, and the headlights were a problem. About four or five people showed up, all told. I showed them how to get oriented with Polaris and the Summer Triangle, and pointed out Cassiopeia, Sagitarius, Antares and Scorpio. With the telescope, we got a great view of globular cluster M13 in Hercules, very dramatic. I tried to find the Ring Nebula in Lyra, but no soap (I'm not sure it's visible at my low power). No planets either, but some satellites and meteors. It was fun. Then another freestyle boogie at night -- I could get used to this!

Tuesday

This morning was the kitchen shift from hell. No time for taiji, because I had to be on at 6:30 am. First I set up the cold cereal area, which was a challenge because the cook/supervisors would say things like "put out the regular stuff" without giving me a clear idea what the regular stuff was or where it was kept. A bit frustrating, but not too unexpected. Okay. Then they put me on dishwashing, where I learned the intricacies of the industrial sanitizing machine. Unfortunately there was a mountainous pile of dirty dishes left from the overnight crowd -- they sure left a lot of mess! So I worked as hard as I could, making mistakes and fixing them, trying to get through the old overnight dishes while staying ahead of the new breakfast dishes.

I learned later that most kitchen shifts are done in teams, so you get to meet people and socialize while working. Which sounds great, but I was alone on this task. I also learned that they usually have four people doing the dishwash work, not one. That may explain why I was working flat out for almost four hours without a break. Finally, I learned from someone that the first kitchen shift is supposed to end at 9:30 (I learned this at about 10:30), and I got out of there and managed to find some food, luckily, since breakfast was over.

The extra time meant that I missed the morning class in contact improv that I wanted to take. I was pretty pissed off, so I sat alone and had my food and tea to calm down, then I went swimming. By lunchtime, I was in a better mood, and made a point of meeting some new people and getting to know them.

I took the afternoon class in Pilates, which is an exercise regimen originally designed for people who are bedridden, but intense enough for dancers and athletes. It was very interesting, and I got some good stretches, though I'm not sure I will want to go this route for the long term. The huge rubber bands for leg stretches are very good, I will see if I can find some.

After dinner and another rub session with the massage group, I went to the "tepee village" for a pipe ceremony. This was led by Dale, a camp instructor (not a DNE member) whose grandfather was Chippewa and taught him the old ways. Nice guy. He asked me to be firetender, and we started the fire while waiting for the sisters' sweat lodge to finish. We had about eight people (Wei-Wei was there but had to leave). Dale told stories, mostly creation myth and the origins of the pipe, until Mareba and the other sisters finished the sweat and joined us. The ritual of preparing the pipe, loading it with prayers and tobacco, and smoking it, was a very nice time of reverence. I don't know enough to do the whole ceremony again, but I could do an abbreviated one, like my tea ceremony. This lasted pretty late, and I didn't go to the nightly dance afterward, just turned in.

Wednesday

Wei-Wei came to watch me finish taiji this morning. She gave me corrections (mostly, keep the knees in line) and showed me her brief qigong routine. She says she hasn't kept up her taiji but plans to start again when she's done with school. I am trying to stay polite and friendly while controlling my attraction to her -- I don't meet many tall beautiful Chinese girls. After breakfast she was at the contact improv class too. I made a point of not approaching her for partner exercises, though I would have liked to.

Contact improv is very different from any other kind of dance that I've done. Warmups involve crawling and slithering over each other, exercises in sharing weight, draping bodies over each other, and learning to communicate with touch and pressure. Very different for me, but lots of fun and a good heart opening experience.

After lunch and swimming, I went to a "Snakes 101" workshop, where I got to hold several boas (they're friendly and very mellow) and learn some things. I also got to teach some things, like why the snake's tongue is forked -- for stereo perception! Then we all took our shirts off and lay down and let the snakes crawl around on us during guided meditation. What a wild feeling!

I also went to the second Pilates class, out in the main grassy area, but just as we were starting I saw Lee arrive, so I ran over to greet her and get her set up. We wandered around and found her a good tent site, overlooking the main quad, and got the tent set up (first time with this new tent). As I was out of class for the day, Lee and I spent the afternoon swimming and hanging out. After dinner, we spent some cuddle time, and then went to the nightly boogie dance.

I was already finding irritation, though. After arriving alone and depressed, and going through the work of meeting new people and finding new classes to take and cheering myself up, I cut it all short to greet Lee and get her settled. I didn't feel it was an option to ignore her and stay in the class, but I found myself resenting her for arriving and cutting all my other activities short. So the dancing wasn't real fun, I kept trying to loosen up and cast aside the irritation, and not making it.

Thursday

After breakfast with Lee, I arranged to meet her for lunch and went to the contact improv class again. The class went okay, especially after I made a point of finding the biggest guy in the class (Chuck) to do the weight sharing exercises with, so that I didn't have to be afraid of crushing one of the skinny little girls. (He looks immense, but he's only ten pounds heavier than me. Do I look that huge to other people?)

But when Lee found me at the end of class (and not at lunch, as we had said) I was immediately very irritated. Why? She apparently doesn't understand that I often feel stressed in her presence, and that I need some space to recover, and that I felt a boundary was violated. I also felt distrusted, like she thought I was going to ditch her and she had to hunt me down. She certainly didn't see a problem.

At any rate, after lunch there were no classes, and Lee and I went to her tent to try to work things out. This soon turned into an intense trance work session, which I will write up separately HERE. It took a lot out of me. Afterwards, we went for a swim at the waterfront, which was a nice relaxing change.

The big event of the evening was the drum circle. The announce board said there would be a Drum family group beforehand, so I got my djembe and toted it over the the fire circle. Not much happening. I filled a water jug at the dining hall and carried it over to the fire circle, so that people wouldn't dehydrate _too_ fast. The fire was already big and hot, and I was sweating just being near it.

Lori, the organizer, wanted to gather people for a procession, so I took my djembe and followed her to the dining hall. She had torches of the kind that people use for juggling, but instead of juggling she whirls them around and makes cool fire trails in the dusk. I laid down a 4/6 rhythm as a sort of accompaniment, and people did indeed gather around. Several tried the torch twirling, including Wei Wei, but none could match Lori's deftness and speed, it was really neat to watch.

While the fire twirling was going on,

UNDER CONSTRUCTION still not done, but getting there!

Friday - contact, Bruce, water games with Lee and others, crashdown, poly, just me

Saturday - qigong, bugaku, writing, dinner with Bruce et al, didji, the final boogie!

Sunday - fantasy morning, sound & light teardown, pack trailer, lunch, twelve laps with Lee only, pack out Lee's stuff, the final hang with a bottle of wine, and then this journal.

Monday - hauling out the garbage, pee-yu, then Jennifer and then Dave & Amy